冷笑话是近几年新兴的一种语言现象,它轻松诙谐、别具一格,给我们紧张的生活增添了几分轻松的情趣,下面是小编为大家收集关于英语演讲技巧冷笑话，欢迎借鉴参考。
冷笑话英语带翻译精选
到底有多少大豆(中英)
While going through his wife's dresser drawers，a farmer discovered three soybeans and an envelope containing $30 in cash. The farmer confronted his wife，and when asked about the curious items，she confessed: "Over the years，I haven’t been completely faithful to you.
一个农民在他妻子的化妆台抽屉里发现三个大豆和一个装有三十美元的信封。那个农民找到他的妻子问这件奇怪的事。她坦白道:“在过去几年里，我没有完全忠实于你。”
"When I did fool around, 1 put a soybean in the drawer to remind myself of my indiscretion，”she explained.
她解释道:“每当我做出对不起你的事时，我就会放一个大豆进去，以此来提醒自己对你的不忠。”
The farmer admitted that he had not always been faithful either, and therefore，was inclined to forgive and forget a few moments of weakness in his wife.
那个农民也承认他也曾有几次做过同样的事。因此，他愿意原谅她的妻子并忘记这一切。
"I'm curious though，”he said，"'here did the thirty dollars come, from?"
“但我还是奇怪，”他说，“那三十块钱是怎么来的?”
"Oh that,” his wife replied，"Well，when soybeans hit ten dollars a bushel，I sold out!”
“噢，那钱呀，”他的妻子回答，“你知道吗?每八加仑大豆能卖十块钱呢!那是我卖大豆的钱!”
冷笑话英语带翻译阅读
船长与大副(中英)
The first mate was found to be drunk one day and that day it happened to be the captain’s turn to write in the ship' s log so he wrote: The first mate was drunk today.
一天大副喝酒喝得大醉，这天正好轮到船长记航行日志。他写道:大副今天喝醉了。
He begged and pleaded to the captain to remove that entry but the captain argued that once an entry was made in the company’s Log it couldn’t be deleted. 'The first mate decided to get even. The next time when it was the first mate's turn to write in the log, he wrote: The captain was sober today.
大副苦苦哀求船长不要把这个写进去，但是船长说一旦写进了航海日记就不能删去了。大副因此决定要对船长进行报复。当轮到大副记航海日志的时候，他写道:船长今天是清醒的。
冷笑话英语带翻译学习
律师咨询费(中英)
A lawyer' s dog, running about unleashed，beelines for a butcher shop and steals a roast. Butcher goes to lawyer's office and asks, "If a dog running unleashed steals a piece of meat from my store, do I have a right to demand payment for the meat from the dog’s owner?" The lawyer answers，"Absolutely.”
一位律师的狗被放出来后，直接来到一了肉店偷了一大块烤肉。之后，肉店老板来到那位律师那里问:“如果一个没有被拴住的狗从我的肉店里偷了一大块烤肉的话，我有没有权利要那只狗的主人赔我的肉钱?”那个律师回答说:“当然可以。”
“Then you owe me $8. 50. Your dog was loose and stole a roast from me today.”
“这么说你欠我八点五美元。今天是你的狗被放出来后到我的店里偷的烤肉。”
The lawyer, without a word，writes the butcher a check for $8. 50.
那位律师一句话没说，给那个肉店老板开了一张八点五美元的支票。
Several periods of time later the butcher opens the mail and finds an envelope from the lawyer: $20 due for a consultation.
过了一阵子。肉店老板打开他的邮箱看到一封信，是那位律师寄来的，上面写着:请付一二十美元律师咨询费。
英语小笑话演讲稿带翻译：伊甸园
Adam was walking around the Garden of Eden feeling very lonely, so God asked Adam, “What is wrong with you?"
亚当在伊甸园里走来走去，感到十分的孤独。上帝问亚当:“你怎么了?”
Adam said, "I don’t have anyone to talk to.”
亚当说:“我连个说话的人都没有。”
God said，"I will give you a companion and it will be a woman.” He said, "This person will cook for you and wash your clothes, she will always agree with every decision you make, she will bear your children and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them.”
上帝说:“我会给你找个伴儿，她就是一个女人。”上帝接着说:“这个人会为你煮饭，洗衣服，她会时时刻刻同意你的意见，她还会为你生儿育女，而且从不会让你在半夜里起床照顾孩子。她更不会唠叨。她总是第一个承认自己错了。当你们有分歧的时候，她也不会头痛，在你需要的时候，她仍旧会毫无保留地给你她全部的爱和热情。”
"She will not nag,” God continued, "and will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you've had a disagreement, she will never have a headache and will freely give you love and passion whenever needed.”
亚当问上帝:“想得到这个女人，我要付出什么代价?”
Adam asked God, "What will a woman like this cost?" God said, "An arm and a Leg!”
上帝说:“一条胳膊和一条腿。”
Adam said, "What can I get for just a rib?"
亚当说:“那一根肋骨能换什么?”
AND THE REST IS HISTORY.
于是就有了后来的人类历史。